Bleach Doujinshi Round-Up, Part II

Alright, let’s do this!

In celebration of the new Bleach anime, I am continuing to read and review the VAST quantity of doujinshi (fan produced works) of this manga/anime that exist out there.

Same deal as the previous review. I will do my level best to put these doujinshi into context and try to comment on whether or not they would be at all enjoyable for a non-Bleach fan to read. But, as I stated before, I am SOAKING in this fandom, so I might not always realize which bits of canon are impenetrable (as it were!) or baffling to the outsider.

Here we go….

SPOILERS

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I’m going to start with my favorite pairing: Renji and Byakuya. This is a couple that really should not go together. They are, in canon, an extreme version of red oni (Renji) and blue oni (Bykauya.) Like, they’re not even in the same social class, Byakuya being a nobleman’s noble and Renji coming from one of the furthest slums from “the capitol” such as it is in the Soul Society, the Seireitei. Byakuya is refined; Renji is crude. In the manga/anime, they are paired together as captain (Byakuya) and lieutenant (Renji,) but, in canon, Renji commits extreme insubordination by choosing to help the hero, Ichigo, save Rukia, and is nearly killed by Byakuya. So, I mean, there really should be no sparks here.

Except there are.

I will not make my entire case as to why this ship has a basis of possibility in canon because it would take up the whole review, and, really, who cares? People ship ships for ship reasons, it is not for us to question why. Byakuya x Renji has a fair amount of doujinshi, however. So, let’s review them.

First up is Yopparai / Drunkard by Nata. I love Nata’s artwork. A piece of theirs has been an inspiration for my own fan work, so I’m definitely biased. This story looks like it was published as part of a Bleach fan book. It also might read as kind of stilted since the notes at the end include the line “this author was not fluent in Japanese and so some of her wording may have been lost in translation.” So, I am assuming this is an English translation of the Japanese translation of the original in whatever language Nata *is* fluent in.

So, the story doesn’t make a huge amount of sense. Basically, at some point after the Fullbring arc (you can tell by Renji’s updated outfit,) Renji and Byakuya have moved in together. They are not “out” as a couple because at one point, Renji makes up a ridiculous story as to why Byakuya is sporting a hickie when Captain Unohana (for non-Bleach folks, imagine: local head healer) inquires if he’s been injured in some way. Most of the story is played for these kind of awkward laughs. Including a scene that most of the ByaRen community agrees is fanon:

Which is that Renji is the kind of drunk to fall asleep, spraling, in the middle of trying to seduce Byakuya… and that he snores.

The sex in this is near the end of the chapter and is censored. Nata imagines Renji as the top. (I will be noting this because it is a matter of some contention in the fandom.) I don’t think that a non-Bleach fan would get much out of this particular doujinshi. The sex is… okay? But not all that hot if you don’t know these characters.

Nata also published Doushouimu / How to Play which is one of the few doujinshi that I’ve read that takes place in the chapters that are currently being animated, which is to say the final “Thousand Year Blood War” arc. This one is entirely a character study.

Next is Hiiragi / The Holly Tree by Yuuago. Guessing through context (and outfits,) this doujinshi takes place in the Soul Society in a time before the action of the Bleach manga begins. There is sex in it but the imagery is not terribly explicit. Yuuago imagines Byakuya as the top and, consequentially, draws Renji must more slender and smaller than he is in canon. The story mostly seems to be a kind of sweet “what if…?” explorations that presumes that the insubordination that I mention at the beginning of this review would be even more bittersweet if Byakuya and Renji were lovers. I only guess that because of this line, which reads: “Someday, the day will come… when you bare your fangs at me.”

Next we have Red Idol by Mitani Yasuhiro which is a series of 4-choma shorts and one extended, very smutty story. Mitani has written a number of other Bleach doujinshi, mostly with the Renji x Ichigo pairing. She seems to mostly imagine Renji as a bottom.

Side note, I love the expression of Byakuya in this one tiny panel. It’s a Byakuya we’ve never seen. The “hey, how you doin’?” Byakuya. Mr. Smooth seductor.

At any rate, Red Idol is not for the uninitiated. The jokes will not make sense. However, the smut at the very end might worth skipping to, if you are a fan of kinbaku and sex toys.

Next up is I Know How Grass Holds in a Strong Wind by Inushiro Pochi (Crispy Dog). This one is drawn entirely in the chibi style, so it was very hard for me to get into. Still there are a few funny moments in the story and a very plausible hurt-comfort scenario, where Renji catches a cold and Byakuya takes care of him. If I liked chibi style, I might find this adorable, but I really don’t. Mileage may vary. Probably only for the Bleach enthusiast, since there is zero sex.

It Hesitates by Nanami Kasuga and Triple Star is probably the first ByaRen doujinshi that I could recommend to someone completely unfamiliar with the anime/manga. The story is very self complete and follows a very sexually frustrated Renji who believes he has no hope to bed his captain. By chance, he runs into Yoruichi (a woman who is also a cat, don’t ask,) who offers Renji a tea that is an aphrodisiac that will melt even the iciest ice queen. Renji brews it up, sets it in front of Byakuya, but then decides he can’t possibly use his beloved this way. As a “reward” for his honesty, Byakuya slams it and says, “Take me I’m yours.” There’s a lovely twist at the end that makes the whole thing quite sweet.

The art is FINE. Byakuya is the bottom and, as seems to be required by the artists, is suddenly tiny and girlish in his figure, but the story is actually worth it in this one, in my opinion.

Lovers by Kurumi Mashio is a sweet story that might also be fine for those unfamiliar with the manga. The only thing you need to know going in is actually explained in the story and that is that Byakuya, in canon, was married and lost his wife to a tragic illness. Lovers tells the story of how Byakuya finds love with his doofy, overbearing lieutenant. The art in this one is also in what I would consider the OKAY range, the sex is plentiful (Byakuya is the bottom), and the romantic aspects are fairly sweet, if you find pleasure in the “finding love again after loss” trope.

There is a very strange Byakuya and Renji in the Human World doujinshi called Byakuya-sensei and Renji-kun by Fumitshuki Nana. There is sex (Renji bottoms) but the art is very… mmm, not the best. The story is also just sort of odd, but maybe that would mean it might appeal to people unfamiliar? Not certain.

The final Renji x Byakuya that I’ll review is actually a Renji x a lot of guys including Byakuya, called Assemblage by Koiwazurai Shibito (Super Nova), which is notable for this particularly funny moment in which Ichigo is impressed by how popular Renji is:

If you read Assemblage there are a number of other pairings collected in the manga, including a Keigo x Mizuiro.

I feel like there were a bunch more of these Byakuya x Renji doujunshi out there, but my Google Fu failed me and I was unable to find any of the ones that I half-remembered (or dreamed) existed. If you know of some good ones that I’m missing, let me know.

I will also link to a very rare pairing, Akon x Grimmjow, which never got a translation, apparently titled: Depths of Love of the Conscious Demon by Tommy and MatsuYoi. You can check out the raws here: https://cherry-toxic.tumblr.com/post/43902346174/bleach-doujinshi

I don’t even know what to make of this. Obviously, I can’t read it, but just looking through the panels it sort of appears to maybe exist in the Subverse, since Grimmjow is very obviously wearing a collar, and seems pretty helpless considering how much strong he ought to be against a random-ass scientist from the 12th division. Highly recommended to those of you who enjoy Japanese rope bondage. Can’t recommend the story, since it’s entirely in a language I barely speak, much less read, but let’s be honest, are we really here for the plot? (I will say though, there is a strange appearance at one point of Captain Kyouraku and I would love to know what the heck that is about. Japanese readers out there? Please let me know if you can?? I am fascinated.)

I think, once again, I will stop here for now. The next largest pairing for doujunshi seems to be Ichigo x Ishida, so that should probably be my next set. I will try to drop in more rare pairs into each of these, since otherwise I may never get through them all.

Meanwhile, another episode of Bleach canon anime drops today. Enjoy!

Doujinshi Round-Up (Bleach), Part I

In my defense, I never said I WOULDN’T review doujinshi.

Many doujinshi are technically manga, even if they’re fan-produced. I feel like a case can be made that they’re a little different than their Western fan fic/fan art counterparts, in that their history stretches back to that late Meiji Period and they hold a strange position in Japanese copyright law as shinkokuzai–a kind of extra legal state that, so long as the holder does not submit a formal complaint, their violation of copyright law is not prosecutable.

Secondly, I feel like I have a bit of an excuse thanks to all of Bleach‘s twenty-year anniversary hoopla, this ridiculous manga/anime has been on my mind again A LOT again.

So of course I went looking for smut!

As a caution, however, I will say that this particular review may not make much sense to any reader unfamiliar with the source material. Because I am a mega-fan of this manga, I may not even always be aware of what needs explaining and so some of this may read entirely like gobbledygook. Normally, I’d suggest you check out the original (which I do link to it in a paragraph above,) no amount of smutty one-shots is likely worth the time and effort it would take anyone new to the series to read all 365 chapters. I will, however, in my comments on each of these try to give those readers a sense of whether or not it might be possible to enjoy these stories without any prior knowledge of Bleach.

Psst, for those of you who are fans of the original, it’s out. Bleach‘s Thousand Year Bloodwar Arc hit Hulu on Monday of this week. If you want to watch the trailer for the new anime series, you can catch it here: https://www.comingsoon.net/anime/news/1229239-bleach-thousand-year-blood-war-sequel-anime-trailer-previews-return. Not going to lie, it’s got me pretty pumped. And, yes, before any one feels the urge to jump into the comments to tell me I have a pig face and no taste being a Bleach fan, I am aware, my friend. Very aware.

VERY.

AWARE.

SPOILERS

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Despite all of my complaining, I am, as I have noted, still a sucker for this manga.

My current character obsession is our previous Big Bad, the suave and sophisticated manipulator: Aizen Sousuke. Last night I stumbled across a number of doujinshi featuring Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin. Including this one…

Qualirengue by Kitamura Koume. Actually, I read Kitamura’s entire Bleach doujinshi oeuvre, which included Roulinsou, Suifuyu, Yukichidori, Koisenshou, and Koishoushou. Of these six, my personal favorite was the last one, Koishoushou. That story details a story from the time that Ichimaru served as a fairly young child in the Third Division when Aizen was the lieutenant there. In this version of their relationship, Ichimaru offers his love confession to Aizen as a “kishoumon,” which is, historically, a written vow to a god.

Which, I mean, that’s got to appeal to Azien’s ego…

This story is told from Aizen’s point of view and the moment that really works for me is when after receiving Gin’s written confession, Aizen has this moment of truth that feels very real to his character in canon.

Where he goes through this long thing where, in his retelling of this story to an older Ichimaru, Aizen says, “Seeing the sincerity in his body, his voice, I was deeply affected. So I thought… that I must show this child the same sincerity he had shown me.”

And then Aizen basically says, “Listen, thanks, but I’m dead inside.”

His actual words more convoluted than that in the doujinshi, but it basically boils down the idea that Aizen is incapable of loving anyone other than himself. I think we are supposed to come to the rather romantic conclusion that Aizen holds on to this love confession for the next several hundred years because Ichimaru does come to fill that hole, changes him, etc., etc., but… I dunno, man, this is Aizen. My money says: once sociopathically dead inside, always sociopathically dead inside.

Interestingly, this is the most romantic of all of Kitamura’s stories. Generally, she seems to be enamored of an abused and manipulated Ichimaru, who can’t help but love his abuser anyway.

I mean, canon did give off those vibes, but I can’t help but wonder what people who love this pairing for that particular dynamic do with the fact that Ichimaru later turns coat and successfully steals the hogyoku from Aizen’s heart and is the one person (besides Urahara) who comes closest to killing him. This does not seem like a shrinking violet afraid of his abusive lover to me. I tend to be a bigger fan of these two strong men coming together and doing the frienemies dance, but that is difficult when you want to write about a guy whose spiritual pressure is literally off the charts. Aizen is the definition of peerless.

But, I mean, believing Aizen is a villain even in bed: easy. So, it’s not like I don’t buy the basic premise.

Generally, though I would not say that the average, non-Bleach obsessed yaoi reader would get much out of this set of doujinshi. A few sexy times are there, but, if you’re in it to see the abuse, it’s mostly implied by bruises and scratches that apparently were procured off-stage, like the image above. Which, I mean, if I’m gonna sign on that particular vision of Aizen, I want the art and the story to really go there (See Tentacles x Uryuu later in this review for what I mean.)

I will say in the positive column that I really liked Kitamura’s Aizen. She draws him particularly well–in all his guises: lieutenant, captain, and the Aizen-sama of Hueco Mundo. Meanwhile, she tends to soften Ichimaru in temperament as well as artistically, so hers is not the nearly skeletal, foxy, creepy version that canon usually shows us.

For Bleach fans, I will say that at least one of these doujinshi, Roulinsou, attempts to explain why Ichimaru was nearly entirely absent in most of the Hueco Mundo arc (Kitamura’s answer: doing the sex slave thing, like a princess in a tower!) so that’s at least somewhat fun to imagine sliding into the background of canon.

Generally, though your tolerance for these will depend on your ability to believe in a soft!Ichimaru.

The next doujinshi that I want to review is the ‘not even trying to hide it’ named, Tentacles x Uryuu by Oda Kazui. Given the simplicity of the concept, almost any yaoi or tentacle porn fan could enjoy this one-shot. The only part of this premise that at all relates to Bleach is that the tentacles are being controlled by Aizen. The titular victim, Ishida Uryuu, is a member of the imaginary race of Quincy, which are considered somewhat rare in Bleach (despite an army of them showing up in the final chapters which we are now seeing animated.) However, this means that Ishida is often threatened, even in canon, with various vivisections and torturous experiments because he is One of a Kind and In Need of Study. The tentacles, therefore, are simply an extension of this lascivious and gratuitous ‘scientific’ research into his race.

I can show you no pictures because Tentacles x Uryuu one-shot is smut from start to finish.

I will admit that despite the incredibly sketchy art that barely seemed finished enough to go to whatever passes for press in the doujinshi world, I still enjoyed this one. I suspect that part of my enjoyment has entirely to do with my own kinks around how I imagine Aizen enjoying sex. So, mileage may vary.

Oda’s three other doujinshi are really only for the Bleach fan, alas. The sex, if there is any, is really secondary to the characters studies of a very tsundere Ishida Uryuu. There is Baby I Love You in which, in an alternate universe, Ishida is the owner of two cats, one orange (Kurosaki Ichigo) and one white (Shiro / Hollow Ichigo.) There is cat sex. With tails.

Oda also wrote Beni Hitoiro featuring Ishida and Ichigo that explores the dynamic of two heroes, both stupidly and stubbornly self-sacrificing. No sex, only a bit of kissing, and angsty thoughts about why Ishida secretly only ever hated Ichigo for being so damn hot and noble.

Another Oda, Subete no Owari no Hajimari, is a strange little story about… well, I guess the dangers of unrequited love in a world where there are a WHOLE lot of other versions of the main character, including the existence of the Grand Fisher Hollow that can make you think you’re with someone you love. It’s still Ishida x Ichigo, but Ichigo prime doesn’t figure out what’s going on with his dear friend who seems to be physically wasting away, until he discovers a Hollow sexing up Ishida in the guise of… himself.

That’s, perhaps, the perfect segue to the surprising number of doujinshi that feature Bleach‘s main character, Ichigo having sex with various versions of himself.

For the uninitiated, options include, but are definitely not limited to: the mod Soul possessed ‘gigai’ (a kind of a body-double) known as Kon and, most popularly, Ichigo’s sword spirit, previously most commonly referred to in Bleach fandom as Shiro. “Shiro” is a play on words since Zangetsu, Ichigo’s sword spirit, looks like a color-flipped version of Ichigo, whose last name KUROsaki has the word for black in it, Shiro is the word for white, and you will sometimes, though rarely see this Hollow version referred to as SHIROsaki.

At any rate, in the category of “Ichigo Does Himself,” we have Hot Summer by Gyohkoh and Masaki Rioka, which can be summed up as Ichigo comes home and discovers his body-double is feeling horny and gets caught up in it.

To be fair, this storyline could easily have been inspired by canon. There is a scene in the JUMP version of Bleach (that gets censored in the English-language tankoban) where we see Kon, in Ichigo’s body, the night of Ichigo’s return from his first big adventure in the Soul Society. Kon inside the gigai body-double is asleep on Ichigo’s bed, and very clearly has his hands in his pants.

The translators went with “scritch, scritch” like he’s just itching down there, but the flushed cheeks and the ‘uk, uk” face tell another story.

This is canon, everyone. Drawn by the very hand of Kubo-sensei, himself!.

However, the far more popular pairing in the “self love” category is Ichigo and his Hollow sword spirit, Shiro. Hollows are kind of monster in the Bleachverse, so Shiro is, even in canon, portrayed as Ichigo’s id, if you will, his more animalistic inner self. Given this antagonistic, yet literally soul-bonded dynamic, you can probably begin to imagine the emotional appeal of this couple.

Sono Toki Sekai ga bibi Wareru Oto wo Kikita also by Gyohkoh and Masaki Rioka opens with a compelling splash page that goes a long way to making the case of the aesthetic appeal of this pairing, as well:

They are pretty together? It’s very much not my thing, but I kind of get it.

Rioka-sensei on her own wrote a whole bunch of other Ichigo x Shiro doujinshi: Rosemoon, which is just a smut piece poetically framed around, of all things, the Lord’s Prayer. Play of the Twin Dragons is a Edo Period alternatte universe with Shiro and Ichigo in some kind of slave/master relationship only this time with inexplicable tattoos. Rioka also plays with another fan favorite “what if….?” concept, which revolves around the fact that it becomes very clear in canon that Ichigo is one step away from being the very monsters he fights. This becomes particularly clear when Kubo-sensei introduces a new kind of evolved monster called the Espada. They look much like shinigami/humans, except they have a broken Hollow mask and a hole somewhere on their bodies. The “what if…?” is that given that Espada are an option for Hollow-types, what if Ichigo got somehow taken in by Aizen and made into an Espada himself.

Rioka has two of these, Espada-version Ichigo stories. In the first, Wilder Than Heaven, we have Espada-Ichigo, Grimmjow, and our universe Ichigo getting it on (mostly just because, see: id aspect of Hollow versions of Ichigo). Playback (which has two chapters scanlated) is another one of Rioka’s where the dominant Ichigo in this story is Espada Ichigo and the Ichigo we know is locked up in Hueco Mundo (literally translates as Hollow World) as a sex slave (apparently a theme for Bleach doujinshi writers given that we saw Ichimaru in this position as well!)

Rioka’s co-author Gyohkoh has a insanely smutty and deeply convoluted one-shot called Lollipop Carnival, which involves so many alternate versions of Ichigo, I’m not sure I could begin to explain who they are all are, even to the most well-versed Bleach fan!

Moving on to another mangaka, but with the same basic pairings Imaginary Play by M2 where a brooding Ichigo accidentally falls into his Internal World (where his sword spirit lives) and is basically raped by Shiro in a show of dominance. Reincarnation Flow, also by M2, just seems like a few extra pages they forgot to add to Imaginary Play. Twilight is another of theirs that goes a little deeper into setting-up some reasonable reason for Shiro and Ichigo to bang, with some added bonus humor with the inclusion of Kon in his stuffed lion form (non-Bleach fans, don’t even ask. We have a sentient stuffy as canon. Just… roll with it. We also have a furry Shinigami captain in canon, so, you know, broad appeal!)

Though I suspect there are many more Ichigo x Ichigo doujinshi out there that I just didn’t even find during this pass through, this is a decent enough survey, I feel, of the types of stories you’re likely to find. I will say that a lot of the art of these doujinshi are as crude as the storylines. If you are an average yaoi fan that would enjoy the deeply confusing visual of two people who look nearly identical banging for reasons that will make very little sense to you, then sure, any of these Ichigo x Ichigo tiles will be fine for you to try out and enjoy responsibly. Plot not required.

Bleach fans should also feel free to take or leave these. There were no special insights into Ichigo’s relationship to himself or to Zangetsu to be gleaned, in my opinion, but there also isn’t anything wrong with enjoying these for what they are. No kink shaming here! If that blue tongue of Shiro’s does it for you, hey, power to ya.

There is so much of this stuff out there (Bleach has a rather shockingly large array of side-characters, several of whom are popular enough in the fandom to rate dozens of doujinshi) that I think I will leave this here for now and schedule a part II for later.

Who knows, maybe I can do several parts as a continued celebration of the return of the anime.

Welcome back, Bleach fans.

Don’t say I never done nothin’ for ya.

BLEACH: “No Breaths From Hell,” by Kubo Tite

My love/hate relationship with Kubo Tite continues.

Oh, but you have, Kubo-sensei. You have..

For the twentieth anniversary of Bleach, someone, somehow has roped Kubo-sensei into producing what appears to be a new mini-arc for Bleach, called “No Breaths From Hell.” (Update, this is probably just the chapter title, Looks like the new arc will be called Howl From the Jaws of Hell. HWJG? Probably this is already a tag on Tumblr.)

For those of you who are new to MangaKast, I apologize for what is about to come. I have been a long, long time MEGA fan of Bleach much to my discredit. In my other guise as a fan fic writer, I have committed well over a MILLION words of fic in the Bleach universe. On Tumblr, I have spun so much theory… I’m absolutely certain, in fact, that Kubo-sensei himself never thought about Bleach as much as I have.

So… I have a lot of feelings about this first new chapter.

Brace yourselves.

SPOILERS

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I was NOT a fan of the ending of Bleach.

For one, as someone who is also a professional storyteller, I found the end to be incredibly sloppy. All along in Bleach‘s storyline there was this thread about how important it was that no one replace the Soul King as the big bad, Aizen, had wanted to. Aizen has to be stopped because that would BE BAD FOR, UM, REASONS and the balance would be screwed up!! There was a lot of talk, generally, throughout Bleach, about “the balance,” how the Quincy screwed it up and and how this Soul King was the “lynchpin,” without whom everything would collapse. Then, in the action of the final official actions, the Soul King is actually destroyed and subsumed by the newer big bad, Juha Back, aka Yhwach.

Then, Yhwach was defeated. Cut down and destroyed. Hooray!

The End.

Which left me going ?? If we needed the Soul King so badly, how is it that everything is solved when the guy who took over the job was murdered. There was some handwaving at the end about Yhwach’s bits and bobs maybe still floating around out there and that they just randomly checked to make sure that was under control and that was that? (I did not read the Light Novels but I read summaries of them, so I know Yhwach’s corpse was some how enshrined, but let’s face it, that doesn’t make any more sense.)

I thought all of that that was a bit of a cheat at the time, honestly, so I was glad to see that Kubo bring it back around.

The “I” in question here is everyone’s favorite mad scientist/Arrancar, Szayelaporro Granz, returning, once again, from Hell.

….another subject I am happy to see Kubo-sensei exploring. Hell is a place that never quite fit in the Bleach universe, despite the fact that it appears in very early chapters (Bleach, Chapter 12, page 9.)

This new chapter postulates something very potentially groundbreaking for Bleach fandom. Captain Commander Kyouraku tells us that there have been a series of rituals that are meant to put Captain-level souls to rest. Actually, Renji tells us this in the part of the chapter I found it most difficult to get through because all the magical children that were produced in the time skip are heavily involved, and so I can’t actually stand most of the stuff Kubo-sensei writes about that character any more.

The point is, they’re finally doing their final ritual, the one for Ukitake, Kyouraku’s lover.

Turns out, Kyouraku says that there may have always been this rumor or superstition floating around that actually these rituals serve a purpose. When Souls get too powerful, they can’t be reincarnated into the Human World any more, so they are sent somewhere else, somewhere not in the usual planes of existence… Hell.

This new information actually explains some things hinted about earlier. Why did a powerful weapon like the Sokyoku exist (the big flaming bird sword that Ichigo destroyed in the first “Rescue Arc”) and why did Kyouraku tell Ichigo’s friends that if Ichigo got too powerful in the Soul Realm, he would never be able to come back to the Human World. If Captain-level people needed to be executed, you’d think you could just kill them. Instead, they clearly needed a way to remove that soul more permanently since their essence was a problem. Likewise, Ichigo seems like the one they’ll really have to watch when he dies for a lot of reasons (don’t get me started on this, honestly. I have written volumes. A fictionalize version of some of my theories about why it would be bad if Ichigo’s soul returned into the resurrection cycle can be found on AO3–I go even deeper into it all in the follow-up fic. The short is: Yhwach says Quincy souls return to him and give him life, and Ichigo is part Quincy….)

Anyway, the main plot of the story revolves around the idea that the Balance is really screwed for a lot of reasons including…

… and on top of all that, with these rituals sending exceedingly powerful Captain souls down to Hell, Hell can now open its own gates.

Szayel implies that all of this Hell overload was inadvertent, but I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the emergence (flowering, if you will,) of Dark!Kyouraku.

Who just so happened to save his lover best friend thousand year old colleague for last… who is in possession, as we know from the last arc, an Ancient God, Mimi-Hagi.

And, for reasons known only to Captain-Commander Kyouraku himself, invited Ichigo to the last one. Oh, the text says that Ichigo was invited because he was “close” to Ukitake, but really, Ichigo’s main interaction with Ukitake was THAT HE WAS SPIED ON BY HIM. It makes more sense in the chapter when it’s revealed that Rukia was the one close to Ukitake and Rukia lobbied hard to get Ichigo an invite.

The brilliance of Kubo in this chapter is that Ukitake’s arrival at the end is telegraphed from the first story of two goldfish and the twin fish that mini-Ichi rides out to meet his mysterious lonely friend (who seems to be in hell) because Ukitake’s Zanpakuto is the Twin Fish, Sōgyo no Kotowari (Law of the Twin Fish/Truth of Pisces.)

For fans who are not as into the meta-verse as I am will still, I believe, find some things to appreciate in this one shot. Kubo-loves his new characters and there are two new lieutenants in this one–one a guy who is deaf, who has an awesome flesh-eating flock of hawk zanpakuto and a very annoying girl, who might end up cool? Hard to say. Renji’s hair keeps getting impossibly longer (which I appreciate, even if I’ve had to close off my love for him in order to survive), and we get to see Akon’s shikai.

If you were a fan of the end pairings, we get all the kid fic you could ever want (none of which I can stand, but, hey, that’s what you get for shipping all the queer.) I mean, even as I hate it, I also appreciate Tou-san!Renji! Because who doesn’t love a protective dad?

So, I mean, if you can stand continuing in this universe after our great disappointing ending, I would say it is worth the read. Kubo-sensei seems to have come to understand that he made some mistakes and is literally out to RESURRECT the dead in his new mini-arc(?) Like I implied above, I am personally grateful for a free!Aizen because that is always, always good for plot (and for my own dark heart, personally.) But, with resurrected Ukitake also comes Hell!Unohana, which was another mistake he made (revealing she was the First Kenpachi and then wasting her by using her to level-up a her male counterpart.)

He’s dealing with his giant plothole, so…

For me, there was more gain than pain. I do so very much HATE magical children, but particularly these, but I will suffer through this if he can bring his story back together for my broken heart.

Probably I am foolish to hope.

But, you know, Keigo owns property (a ramen shop, no less!) now, so… I mean?

Build a Harem, MangaKast-Style

I’m normally sort of an outsider to a lot of the ‘cool kids’ memes and whatnot, so I’m always very touched and honored when someone tags my blog for one of these things.

Thus, it is with great pleasure to announce that I Drink and Watch Anime tagged me on…

I was on a two-week family vacation, so I’m also a little behind this wave. But, like I said, I so rarely get picked to participate in these sorts of things that I really, really wanted to give it a try, tardy to the party or not.

Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the original post on Anime QandA so they can check out everyone’s picks!
2. Use the ‘Build A Harem’ logo somewhere in the post.
3. Make sure to mention the person who nominated you too!
4. Pick 5 Anime Characters (any show & any gender) that would be in your ideal harem if you were the main character of a harem anime, explain a little bit as to why they are your picks (if you want). In my case, I went with manga, obviously. Though many of my picks are also anime heroes/heroines.
5. Make sure each character you pick falls into some of the following harem character types: Childhood friend, tom boy/girl, genki girl/boy, loli/shota, trap, tsundere, yandere, kuudere, dandere, etc. (If there’s a character you’ve picked that doesn’t specifically fall into one of these types or falls into multiple types that’s fine too!)
6. Nominate 5 people to participate in this tag!

Number 6 might be where I fall down on this because I’m kind of a terrible fan in that I’m not super-plugged into this community, despite my desire and best efforts. So, I’m going to circumvent that rule right now and say that if you’re a reader of mine and this meme/challenge/fun thought-experiment enchants you, consider yourself one of my nominees.

Okay, here goes…

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My perfect harem “Childhood Friend” is not going to surprise anyone who has been following MangaKast or any of my other fannish persona (junko on AO3 or junko222 on Tumblr) for any reasonable length of time:

1. ABARAI RENJI from Bleach.

Renji, don’t be like that. You knew I was going to pick you.

There are so many reasons why I love Renji, but he is surprisingly defined by his role as Rukia’s childhood friend (as much as I have come to loathe that fact, since I firmly believe it’s the reason he ended up canonically shipped with her.) Most interestingly to me, he’s not actually a very GOOD childhood friend. He puts his duty as a soldier over his association with Rukia when he and Byakuya were sent by Central 46 to arrest her.

But, I could spend hours extolling is virtues. Suffice to say that I like him and I think he and his tattoos and crazy hair are super-duper hot and I would be sad if he were not part of my harem.  Plus, maybe he’s tsundere, as well? I don’t know.

Okay, having done some researching into the ‘dere’-types, I think my next pick actually falls into the Kuudere type, as in someone who remains aloof and cold to everyone, with the exception of a few characters, to whom they show their more tender side.

2. NICOLAS BROWN (Gangsta.)

I mean, look at this broken boy.  He’s pretty amazingly cold and murderous, but I would postulate that he has a softer side which he particularly shows to Theo’s young helper, Nina… and, of course, to Alex (and IN MY QUEER AS F*CK HEAD also Worick, but the jury is technically still out on that, given the last things I read, at any rate…)

Also? Totally hot.

If I’m going under the assumption that this is my personal list of guys I want following me around in high school thinking I’m the bomb and wanting desperately to get into my pants (and having wacky hijicks with each other while trying to win my affection for themselves….)… then suddenly the humor of this whole scenario really hits me. Because, honest-to-gods, the guys who attract me in manga are kind of a “type” and that type = bad boy.

To be fair, right now, trying to imagine a harem AU that includes Renji and Nicolas Brown is kind of making me happy.  Like, I feel like Renji would make an effort to, you know, do the high school thing, but I do not see Nic giving many f*cks. In fact, I think he’d be vaguely terrifying to the whole high school crowd.

Hmmm, maybe to get some diversity here, I might need to pick characters that I admire and not just want to hop into bed with.

Like, okay, this kid is WAY TOO YOUNG for me in every single way, but I actually went against type while reading Haikyuu!  Normally, as I have just said, I like the delinquents and there are a couple of those in there, but, for once, I found myself extremely charmed by the ACTUAL MAIN CHARACTER.

As a bonus, he’s totally, 100% the Genki type. Or as he would say, “Yatta!”

So, in an utterly bizarre turn of events, I add:

3. HINATA SHŌYŌ, Haikyuu!

This dork is adorable.

Besides, if I’m changing this to be more of the structure of an actual reverse harem manga, there’s always got to be the one guy where the readers look at him and say, “What is that goofball doing there?” That’s my Hinata.

Plus, being serious here for a moment, while I would never date Hinata IRL, the truth is that I would find Nicolas Brown and Abarai Renji plenty problematic, too, not the least of which for the fact that they have penises and I am a lesbian.

I really, really like Hinata. I feel like our friendship would be based on me seeing a lot more volleyball than I ever wanted, but also us jumping around excitedly and yelling “So cool! Zoom! Bash! Waaaaaa!”

Hinata Shōyō is who I’d be, if I were him.

And, if we’re going for all of who I really am in real life thing, I’m a lot more like the heroine from the manga Watashi ga Motete Dousu n da / Kiss Him Not Me  in that I’d be a lot happier if the guys in my harem were all totally gay for each other.

Okay, on that note, moving on.

If we’re going full-on imaginary, but keeping in the tradition of an actual reverse harem manga, I feel I need a Tom Boy type. I haven’t read a ton of reverse manga, but I’m always kind of surprised to the extent to which the whole ‘prince of the school’ who is actually a lady thing is a Thing.

If I was going to go with “OH HELL YA I’D DATE HER” my pick would have to be another Bleach character, Shihōin Yoruichi.  But, I don’t really want to have too many characters from the same manga on my list. I could probably do an entire harem from Bleach and what fun would that be for you, my gentle readers?

Plus, while I think she’s hot, Yoruichi would likely annoy me after awhile…

So, I think I will actually go for someone who more traditionally fits this role:

4. KASHIMA YŪ from Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun/ Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun

Normally, I don’t ship you straight people and your het pairings, but this one was cute.

I probably actually like Kashima because of her relationship with Hori Masayuki (pictured above.) To be fair, one of the things I loved about the anime (and the 4-chome manga) of Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun/ Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun is how non-traditional many of the people and their romances are.  I mean, in their own straight way, they’re kind of queer, if you know what I mean.

Like Hinata, Kashima surprised me when I realized I liked her. Nothing, literally nothing about her is my “type,” but I found her deeply charming and rooted for her and Hori so, so MUCH.

I will admit that I was actually torn between Kashima and Nishina Shima from Watashi ga Motete Dousunda / Kiss Him Not Me, who I feel like I might actually already KNOW in real life ™, because I hang with a lot of fujoshi and cosplayers. Plus, she kind of stole my heart when she fist appeared in the manga at a convention cosplaying Sebastian from Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji (who would also be on my list, except I think he’s really quite GAY.)

So maybe number 4 could be a revolving ‘prince’ door?

Right!  To round out my harem, I think I should return to my physical type. I mean, setting aside the fact that this would be the weirdest group of people to ever exist in the same manga, I feel I need to have the “clueless type”, Kanchigai-Gata. According to the definition I found, this type of character in a romance would be the one to think: “He gave me an eraser… this must mean he loves me!”

The guy who I feel is my physical type, but who would also totally be Kanchigai-Gata?

5. IMMORTAL TATSU from Gokushufudō: The Way of the House Husband

I feel like Tatsu would end up an accidental member of my harem. I mean, it’s totally in keeping with his character that I might say something totally random and he would think: “Ah, this is my new oyabun,” and follow me around forever.

At least that is my fondest hope.

I mean, this guy. I kind of hope I land him, after all. He’s pretty handy to have around the house and he makes a kick-a$$ bento.

Please someone else do this? I have to say thinking about this group of people all wandering around together kind of makes me a little giddy.

Bleach 685 – A Perfect Ending… Or Is IT???!!

So, Bleach 385 is out.  When it first hit, Mangastream kept getting overwhelmed… for perhaps obvious reasons.  Things seem to have calmed down, so you can head there now: http://mangastream.com/r/bleach/685/3582/1

SPOILERS

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Even though I’ll still be very, VERY curious to see what my English Digital WSJ does with this on August 8, the fan-translated sites all have started with this notification:

“An important announcement as well!!!”

I’m still really angry that we’ve gotten no official confirmation (in English or seemingly in any Japanese press releases that anyone can link to) about any of this.  It seems super-werid to me.  I don’t like it and I’m having a really hard time understanding what the officials/editors at WSJ English-language/Japan were thinking with this approach to marketing.  I mean, it’s working in a way. Bleach has been trending far more than usual.

Okay, well, we knew the end was coming and apparently the rumors were right about this and I’m going to have to eat my stripped bucket hat.  I’m kind of still holding out hope that Bleach is actually going to continue (I LIKED that rumor, that one could be true, too!) as a monthly.

But, so what to make of this chapter’s actual content.

I’ll be perfectly honest.  I couldn’t read most of it.  I have a low threshold for silly banter at the moment.

The only things that gave me any kind of hope were these moments.  First off, early on, we get the horrible confirmation that Captain Ukitake is dead and has been for ten years (which I didn’t not like or find hopeful), BUT there was this weird thing:

In which we see some kind of weird black goop coming up out of the sidewalk. We get three whole panels of focus on this moment.

Plus, of course the very ending:

So it seems likely that we’re supposed to imagine that Yhwach is still out there (or coming back.) Thing is, if I was reading this in collection, I would have, only a few pages ago, heard Yhwach saying “I’ll come back and destroy you when you’re at your happiest.”

Given that everyone is gathering for the “happy” moment of Rukia becoming a captain, I presume this very well could be that.  I think the other thing that is giving me any kind of hope is that Aizen and Ichigo are completely absent — no, let me rephrase, CONSPICUOUSLY absent.

Like if you’d just turned the page in the book, you’d be wondering if you were missing pages kinds of absent.

Thing is, there is no mention of Ichigo.  How sad it is he couldn’t make it to Rukia’s promotion, how heroic he was before his human body had a horrible heart-attack and died on the spot, or like the fact he’s 27 or something right now–and what the f*ck he’s been doing in the intervening 10 years.

Aizen is also noticeably absent.  Perhaps he died.  Perhaps they came back and shoved him back into prison.  But no one mentions him AT ALL.  Not even, “Huh, how shocking was it that Aizen helped us out at the end?”

ALSO WHERE THE LIVING F*CK ARE ALL THE QUINCY??

I get the feeling that the “shocking ending” is going to reveal that Aizen has Ichigo in bankai, hiding from this future that exists without them, and that Aizen has been waiting for Yhwach’s “return” knowing that he couldn’t have been finished by Ichigo’s final blow.

Aizen could also have used forbidden Hado to stop time for himself and Ichigo.

So.. what I guess I’m saying is that I’m actually still hopeful that this doesn’t suck and that this isn’t the end END.

Which probably makes me the biggest fool in all of Bleach fandom.

Bleach 684 – The Blade

Bleach 684 is out.  I don’t know whether to tell you to go read it or not. I kind of don’t know if there’s a point any more, but I suppose we should follow this manga to its bitter, bitter end.

SPOILERS

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Cool.  But can you rewrite ones in which you SUCK?

Okay, Kubo-sensei, I know you’re panicking because… well, because maybe the rumors are true and you’ve been fired and your series is ending in one more chapter.  That’s cool.  I understand you might be freaking out a little, feeling the pressure, feeling the rush.  I sympathize, I really do. I’ve been there, man; I really have.

BUT WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS SH*T???!!!

First of all, it’s boring.  How many times now have we seen this pattern repeat.  “We’ve done thing! No, they enemy has a secret power-up! Oh, but so do we! Oh, no wait, the bad guy has yet another thing!”

I can’t believe your editor look at you, Kubo-sensei, and your storyboard, and said, “Yeah, yeah, dude, that’s good, go with that one. THEY’LL NEVER SEE THAT COMING. It was super-effective and surprising the SIXTEEN OTHER TIMES YOU PULLED THAT TRICK.”

Maybe  you can’t sense sarcasm there, Kubo-sensei?

I really don’t know.

In other news, Aizen has EXCELLENT hair.

That is some very fine hair.

Very fine.

Okay, so what can I say of substance?  Well, I think, for the record, I’d like to point out the very conspicuous absence of our red-haired baboon.  We have Aizen walking around like he didn’t have a hole in his chest five minutes ago and as though blood dripping from his severed arm doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

It’s kind of weird.

I mean, I realize that mortal wounds really have never meant sh*t in Bleach, but, wow, Aizen way to have kintama of steel.

The monologuing about how Kyoka Suigetsu and Zangetsu are clearly having an affair in the spirit world and can communicate with each other across time and space is pure Aizen, but where the hell is Renji?

Like, he’s not even standing there looking on.

Did he get lost in the precipice world?

Considering how much he was central to the “action” last time, it’s super strange not to see him at all.  I’ll admit there’s a tiny part of me that’s still holding out hope that Aizen is NOT STUPID enough to have let down his guard and that Renji is standing there going, “Ichigo, the hell? It’s me!  Why do you keep calling me Aizen??” all the while Ichigo is hearing the monologuing about how Ichigo comes to Kyoka’s beckoning (sexual innuendo intended.)

Because the other thing that bothers me is that I don’t believe Ichigo is immune to Kyoka Suigestu.  How is it then that Aizen managed to make it look like Kyoka Suigetsu shattered at the final battle, when clearly that didn’t happen.

Also WHEN is this, in that first panel?  Is this the Battle of Fake Karakura Town?  What is Aizen wearing? Whose head it that in the foreground? Momo? Rukia?

I can’t place this at ALL. And Aizen’s “Indeed,” what the hell is that look in your eye, dude?

There’s something off about all this to me, too, and not just a lot of OMFGWTF (which, admittedly, I am also feeling.)

So I don’t know what to make of any of this.

I think the most damaging thing to happen to this fandom is these rumors about Bleach ending.  I have a set of friends with whom I analyze each chapter with.  We tend to reread a lot, looking for past clues, buried way back in the Rescue Arc and sh*t like that.  We lie awake at night imagining EXACTLY HOW IS IT that Yhwach self-inserted into Zangetsu.  And now, with the rumors that these last two chapters are the end, no one can even work up the energy to wonder at things like the panels above.

If somehow, it turns out that Bleach still has life in it, it won’t matter. Its fandom will have died. Those of us who have held the torch, had faith in Kubo’s storytelling, will have all exhausted our hope and given up.

The worst rumor of all, though?  That Yhwach isn’t even dead at the end of this.

If Yhwach pops up again and wastes more panel space….

Bleach 683 – The Dark Side of Two World Ends

Even if you read the spoilers, you should read the chapter. Go, go get it now: http://mangastream.com/r/bleach/683/3549/1

SPOILERS

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First off, even if Renji dies, I’m pretty damn happy with this chapter of Bleach.  Aizen fighting alongside Ichigo and Renji?  I have to say that this is a day I have prayed for.  Kind of the only thing that would make this better for me would be if Orihime were there, kicking ass.  Or possibly Urahara, because an Aizen + Urahara team-up is the stuff dreams are made of.

So, okay, the actual chapter.

Kubo-sensei… you really need to see a therapist about this severed arm obsession of yours.

Because now my baby is missing his arm. I guess he and Bazz-B have something more in common…. *sigh*

On the other hand (pun intended), I feel like Kubo may have–for once–had a good reason for this.

As my friend 7emptymirrors says, the key to the various hypnotic illusions in this chapter may be to “follow the arm.” I think she makes a strong and compelling case that it’s Renji that Yhwach is holding up at the end, not Aizen (or Ichigo).

Also, can I take a moment to do the ‘called that sh*t’ dance?

What’s that in your hand Aizen?

I said, I said, I SAID Aizen never lost Kyoka Suigetsu.  And here the zanpakutō is, at his side without even a scabbard to pull it from.  For those who would cry ‘a$$-pull’ I have carefully laid out the argument for this in many venues, plus I feel like Kubo-sensei warned us a dozen times that Aizen still had access not only to his hypnosis power but we also got ‘freaked-out/sweat-drop Urahara’ saying:

Which you could read a bunch of ways, but I feel like it’s another moment where Kubo is telling us… hey, Aizen might just have access to his FULL range of power.

Also, I don’t trust this moment at all:

OMG just say “Shatter” already….

Speaking of release commands, I am also going to pre-emptively ‘call that sh*t’ and tell you all right now Aizen has bankai.

There are just too many moments of perfect hypnosis here.  He’s clearly using Kyoka Suigetsu’s shikai and NOT CALLING A RELEASE COMMAND.  We _know_ that means he has bankai.

My prediction?  If the next chapter really is the last one before Kubo launches a monthly spin-off, the penultimate chapter will be a close-up on Aizen’s smirk and the word: “ban-KAI.”

The last panel: blank.

It’s going to happen, people.

Also?  Can I just say that I really hope that if the next chapter opens with Renji obviously the only Yhwach had in his hand, I really hope that Aizen steps out from behind some rubble and smirks and says:

Bleach 682 – AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

That could probably be the sum total of my review of Bleach 682, but you should probably go read “Two-Sided World End”, yourself: http://readms.com/r/bleach/682/3533/1

SPOILERS

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cue dramatic music: Aizen is free

Yeah, some other stuff happened in this chapter which I’ll get to in a second, but first: OMG, YOU GUYS, I’VE WAITED FOREVER FOR THIS MOMENT!

Actually, this chapter was jammed-packed with a lot of action, much of it significant, the other percent of it: heartfelt.  We start with Aizen’s “Welcome to my Puerto Rico,Fantasy Island, my Soul Society” line as a kind of teaser (which worked because I legit screamed) and then we cut to the big Daddy return.

In typical Ryuuken style, Ryuuken shoot an arrow at Ishida without a lot of warning and explains that the arrowhead  made of “the A$$ Whaler” as my son called it (actually: Auswhalen). Apparently, the way in which Yhwach killed the Quincy was by causing a kind of silver aneurysm (a silver bullet?  I thought it was Komamura’s people who were the werewolves!) and Ryuuken dug a bunch of that out of dead Quincies, notably his WIFE, and forged this arrowhead with it and now Ryuuken thinks it’d be great if his only son used his mother’s killing bullet to kill her killer.

Works for me.

Then we get this lovely long montage of the two dude bros/bromance Renji + Ichigo chasing after Yhwach through the precipice doorway he left behind.

Gotta knock some sense into the hero again, dammit.

The RenRuki shippers are happy.  The RenIchi shippers are happy. Because, basically, Renji took up a lot of panels to tell Ichigo that he was going to have Ichigo’s back forever and ever because Ichigo fixed the ‘distance’ between him and Rukia.

I actually really loved a lot about this scene because even though I ‘ship’ Renji with someone else, it seems pretty clear to me that Renji loves Rukia. I think he love her as a friend and more.  I think always will.  I DON’T think it means that Renji and Ruia have to be together at the end, because I’m not nearly as convinced that Rukia feels the same, or at least to the same extent.  I don’t mind. All this love can co-exist in the universe. Renji can love Rukia and someone else.  Rukia can like Renji (or love him) and love someone else.  I actually sort of like Renji’s love being unconditional, so there you go.

Also, Renji continues to do sh*t like this which makes me happy:

I ain’t supposed to be the hero, d*ckw*d! YOU ARE.

Then, of course, we get to the marvelous show-down between Aizen and Yhwach.  I hope you all noticed that Yhwach was SURPRISED that Aizen would fight to protect the Soul Society.  Let me say that again: surprised.

ALMOST AS IF HE COULDN’T SEE AIZEN’S FUTURES.

Yet, when Ichigo showed up, Yhwach was all “Please, b*itch, I saw you coming and, bam, your bankai is broken again.”

Ichigo looks devastated that his bankai is broken again, but I really don’t think it is. I think Aizen is already all over that and that’s only what Yhwach sees, a perfect hypnosis.  You all know my theory that Aizen never truly lost Kyoka Suigetsu, but even if he did, he clearly still has some kind of power of persuasion over Yhwach since he’s been shown in canon to have messed with Yhwach’s perception of time.

Probably the other great moment of the Aizen/Yhwach face-off is Yhwach getting all psychological on Aizen. And Aizen’s face when he does (and his “… right, so, changing the subject…”)

And lastly, let’s not forget those mourning the loss of their OTP today: Aizen x Chair.  To which my only response is, “Never date a Gemini. This is what you get.” Because first he’s all “chair-kun!” then he’s like, “infernal chair.”

Two-faced.

Kids, this is what Aizen is.  Were you really expecting him to be loyal to ANYTHING??

So… yeah, my faith is partly restored. I’ll be honest, though, I got everything *I* wanted in this chapter. Literally, the only thing that would have made it better is if Renji had gotten caught in some kidō blast and lost his shirt and had to fight the rest of the battle half-naked.

Seriously.

Similarly, now I kind of don’t care.  If Aizen is instrumental in the defeat of Yhwach and that wraps up in a couple of chapters, fine.  It’d feel rushed, but I hate Yhwach. I think he’s a one-dimensional villain, so good riddance.  If this supposed monthly spin-off is all the aftermath and thread tying up while fighting Aizen? I’m golden.

Bring it.

Bleach 681 – The End Two World

Interesting which set of rumors came true…. so go, the new Bleach chapter, 681, is out!  There supposedly aren’t many left, so we might as well enjoy what we’ve got.

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As predicted by AuntyA, Renji reacts quickly!

I will say that probably my reaction to this entire chapter can be summed up by how much I sort of love how Renji continues to prove himself a better shounen hero than Ichigo.

There’s been a lot of meta on Tumblr about how Bleach really isn’t structured very much like a traditional shounen story, but it follows more of a YA novel format.  Plus, even Kubo-sensei seems aware that Ichigo is not the perfect Shinigami, not the perfect hero.  There was that whole thing in chapter 523 where that forge guy from Zero Squad, Ōetsu Nimalya, tests both Ichigo and Renji against the asauchi.  Pretty much everyone reading, including me, expected Renji to fail and Ichigo to be victorious.  But, no.  Renji won. Ōetsu even says that, of the two of them, Renji is a true Shinigami.

And… here he is again:

F*cking be the hero, boy. Don’t make me do yer damn job for you.

But, of course, Renji’s attack fails against the All-Powerful Yhwach.  Poor Zabimaru (Renji’s zanpakutō) ends up frayed and shredded… yet again.  But, that doesn’t even slow Renji down.  He’s all, look, there ain’t going to be a better time.  Why not just go try to waste the f*cker now?

And I kind of love him for that, because he’s not wrong.  Rukia, meanwhile, being the smartest one of this bunch tells everyone to hold up and try thinking things through.  Only everyone is kind of in utter despair and Orihime is convinced her powers and herself are useless.

Cue entrance of the FullBring.

Out of nowhere, kind of almost literally, comes the bookmark guy, Shūkurō Tsukishima.  He stabs Ichigo in the shoulder with his history-changing sword and resets them to a point where Ichigo’s sword was never broken and Orihime’s powers work.

It’s…um, a clever use for Tsukishima’s powers, but WTF Orihime literally has the same exact ability IF SHE’D BEEN ALLOWED TO USE IT.

Though I’m kind of loving the implication here that the REASON Orihime has been so stymied in these recent chapters is because Yhwach wrote her out of a future where she’d be useful.  It’s kind of a backwards stab at the Orihime haters and a fascinating take on that whole weird dream sequence a few chapters back where everyone was noticing that Ichigo was in his original substitute shinigami uniform and Orihime was no where to be seen.

Similarly, I’m still hoping that Orihime is having a Chad in Hueco Mundo moment, only in reverse.

Do you remember how Chad found being in Hueco Mundo double-plus good increased his powers (it turned out to be a clue as to Chad’s power’s origin story–that he’s a Hollow-touched child, a FullBring.)  So, that’s my long way of saying that I’m really hoping that Kubo is still planning to reveal (even if he only has four more chapters to do it in) that being in the Soul Realm hampered Orihime’s powers, because, basically, that’s their point of origin.

Fingers crossed.

 

The other stuff that happened in the chapter is that we have 100% canon confirmation that Hashbrown (aka Jugram Haschwalth) is an a$$hat.

Oh, sorry, what I meant to say is that it turns out there’s not a single traitorous bone in Haschwalth body and he’s happy to have been screwed over by Yhwach–nay, HONORED to give his life to the cause that we still kind of know jack sh*t about.  But, you know, he’ll help out by rebounding all the damage to Ishida, because, f*ck being in character, he’s dying anyway, so what do a few more injuries mean?

I don’t know.  Maybe Haschwalth’s last sacrifice is meant to be a further representation of his Balance sensibility.  I mean, kind of with his last breath, he evened out the power balance a tiny bit.

It’s hard to say because I’m so filled with incoherent rage over this last parting shot….

…in which we see that engraved into Hashbrown’s hilt is his lover’s Bazz-B’s crest.

This scene enraged me because he literally says, that he’s happy to have walked his life following his own convictions and that “There’s something to be said for not having… even one regret.”

Wow.

You cold-hearted BASTARD.

Since there may not be time to see this in canon, I’m going to have to write the fix-it fic in which Bazz-B struggles to his feet, finds Hashbrown’s lifeless body, sees his crest in the sword and KICKS HASHBROWN’S IN THE RIBS SIX TIMES AND SAYS “You piece of rotten sh*t, I loved you!”

Because I mean, why the hell did we even get that touching childhood friend backstory if Kubo-sensei was going to end it with, “Yeah, I killed you and I have no regrets.  Peace out!”

What the actual f*ck?!

And, I don’t know, with bookmark guy on the scene, I do have to wonder if there’s any need to release Aizen.  Between bookmark guy, Ishida’s new Anthesis powers, and Orihime, do they really need Aizen’s perception altering?

All bets are off.  I no longer feel qualified to try to guess where this story is going next, especially if the rumors about four more chapters remaining are true.  If they aren’t true, I might speculate, but I just don’t know if it’s worth the effort.  I will say that the penultimate panel:

…of Ichigo pulling himself to his feet, and the last panel of is eyes filled with determination (no hesitation! as the sidebar proclaims) have restored a modicum of faith in me that at least we won’t end with Yhwach victorious, the worlds destroyed, and Kubo-sensei just ending the whole thing with a giant “f*ck you, you rushed me to finish Bleach, so I destroyed everything THE END.”

Which was a rumor going around, so you know.

Thoughts?

A Giant Bag of NOPE – Bleach 680 – The End 2

Uhhhh… so…. yeah…. Bleach 680 is out. Go….uh… yeah….

SPOILERS

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I guess it’s always darkest before the dawn but it’s surprising to me how literally depressed I get after a chapter like this one.  I tend to sit around staring morosely at things for several minutes and then slowly build into a kind of mild pissed-off state.  I’m not ANGRY, but more… grouchy.

So, the things that made me mildly angry in this chapter, in order are:

Gerard “Miracle” Thor being one-shotted by Yhwach.  As I wrote on Tumblr:

 I mean, I can even with Yhwach’s speech about giving everyone glorious deaths and just walking off into the sunset-WTF– but beyond that I’m mad that, apparently, all the Sternritter’s powers are sucked back into Yhwach…

And… it feels… like a cheat.

I really, really wanted Yumichika to get a chance to use his real shikai to absorb Gerard’s power.  He was on the scene. He was perfectly poised to have a big character moment, where he finally came clean about his Kidou zanpakuto in front of his captain, etc. He was literally the best opponent to fight Gerard, since any time Gerard got hit, he got stronger, and I thought, “Oh you clever bastard Kubo, you’re going to let the ONE GUY who has the ability to take away power face off against the guy who turns power into power…”

But, nope.

Just nope.

So much nope.

…

Second, this whole f*cking speech from Haschwaldt:

what kind of stupid-a$$ logic is this, Hashbrown? You’re literally saying “screw your friends, go with the guy who gave you superpowers?”

As anyone who has followed me here on MangaKast knows, I had been really holding out hope for Haschwaldt to be an insider traitor, ala Shindler.  I really, really thought Kubo had been setting this up carefully all along leaving us these subtle hints and….

Yeah, nope.

Nope.

So much nope.

This further irritates me because now, if Haschwaldt does turn traitor, it’s hollow.  He will turn against Yhwach because his power is gone, not because he actually has  brain in his head or actual feelings about anything–nope, it will only be because Yhwach took away his “Balance” toy.

That makes Hachwaldt’s character petty and uninteresting to the extreme.

Nope.

Not okay.

So much nope.

The third thing that pissed me off was this:

Ywach is going to take himself off somewhere for… reasons.  I am fairly certain those reason are called PLOT COUPONS. This is the single dumbest move any villain has ever done.  I mean, okay, Aizen left the Seireitei and technically gave his opponents time to re-group and prepare for the upcoming battle, but he had a fairly decent reason, which was that he also needed to regroup and build an army.

But Yhwach is saying, “Hey, I’m just going to step over here for awhile and let you guys figure out how to come at me.  You’re not going to win anyway, so I’ll give you a glorious death, okay?”

Oh.

Okay.

Yeah, nope.

Nope.

So much nope.

The next thing that made me kind of grouchy (but much less so than the above) was this:

Okay, you guys KNOW how much I love Renji.  I am happy that he and Rukia are going to be with Ichigo at the end, but I will admit that I was kind leaning towards wanting to see the dads come to the rescue. I mean, maybe they still will.

But I entirely blame owl-by-daylight for this disappointment, because she posted this beautiful nugget:

owl-in-daylight

Awww maaaaaaan, I was re-reading Bleach 679 and in the comment section someone went: “But what if Ryuuken goes to help Ichigo and Isshin goes to help Ishida?” and now I will be FOREVER DISAPPOINTED because it won’t happen but it would be so unexpected and hilarious if it did.

“I see you are as useless as your father, Kurosaki.”

“NEVER FEAR, URYUU, ICHIGO’S DADDY IS HERE!!!”

 

So… that didn’t happen.

Feeling the Nope here.

The last thing that pissed me off was that bullish*t color page that blacked out the number of chapters left in Bleach.

It made me mad not because I’m shocked to discover Bleach is ending.  We all knew this was coming–or should have–for almost a year now.  It’s more that, because it was highlighted on the very first page, it gave the events of this chapter that much more weight.  It made me think that maybe Kubo is just going to drop the ball, have Yhwach destroy his own army, and in the next several chapters we’ll get some final stupid battle, the END.

This focus made me… doubt Kubo-sensei.  It made me worry that he just had Yhwach rip the rug out from his Sternritter so we can hurry up and rush to an end.

I mean, I was okay with Bleach ending.  I mean, not really OKAY, but I figured that Kubo-sensei would do right by us.

If this goes the way of Naruto I may…

Well.

I may have to live in a blanket fort for the rest of my life.