Shingeki no Kyojin – 82 and 83

I… might officially be all out of evens….. but, yeah, so, if you’re still following this train wreck of a manga, the newest chapters are out: 82 and 83.

SPOILERS

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Dear gods, where to even start?

I’m not even sure I’m going to recap the action of these two chapters because a lot of what seems to happen in 82 gets reversed in 83.  Instead, I’ll just take the time to air some of my complaints.

First of all, Reiner/the Armored Titan used to be one of my favorite characters, way back when.  I guess I’m glad he’s still alive, but… my suspenders of disbelief have utterly snapped.

How did this:

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Regenerate to this:

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Yeah, I can see his jawline there and how the rest is Titan, but we’re talking about a WHOLE BRAIN, people– complete with all that braining stuff, like, memories, personality, and, presumably, THINKING.

This is it.  Titans are no longer products of any kind of science; they’re magical.  And, even most magical systems have rules THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THIS BULLSH*T.

Plus, I swear sensei keeps reviving Reiner just so we can kill him again and again.

It was hard to even read much after this, even though Armin had a fairly clever distraction ploy to fool Berholdt/the Colossal Titan.

Erin finally got hard!  Sexual metaphor achievement unlocked!

Meanwhile, Jean is the true shounen hero of Attack on Titan, I’ve decided.  He really proved himself that in chapter 83. He’s the only one of them with any kind of decency.  When Hange wants to just kill the captured Reiner, Jean says, “Uh, aren’t we forgetting the plan with the syringe and stealing Titan powers?” and when Hange is like, oh, that, I don’t think it will work anyway, he says:

shingeki-no-kyojin-7826263

…which I think is just a badly translated: “If  you give up on all the things we don’t know, then how can we defeat the Titans?”

 This is the most heroic thing Jean has ever said.  Kind of maybe the most heroic moment ever in SnK.  Here’s Jean taking on authority saying, “F*ck, man, at least give a toss about SCIENCE and finding answers.”

Though it reminds me how we really know all the jack shit about the Shifters and their motivations.  I’m grateful that Reiner managed to pass on the letter from Ymir.  I’m hopeful that maybe we’ll get a full confession of some sort from her to Christiana/Historia that will explain at least some of the WHYs of what the Shifters are up to.

There’s also a weird interaction between Eren and the Ape Titan’s human form, who I’d long thought was Eren’s father, and the superimposed picture still made me sure of it, except that he says he’s been brainwashed by Eren’s dad, they all have.

And so I don’t know how to take that message.  Is the Ape Titan NOT Eren’s dad?  Is Eren’s dad the uber-villain, who has snookered both the Shifters and the humans? Or is this some kind of metaphor akin to “Darth Vader killed your father”?

So confusing.

Then, Ape Titan then seems to make off with Reiner, but is forced to leave Bertholdt behind.  Worse, Reiner’s escape makes Jean doubt his decency and his wisdom and he says he’s done the unforgivable by allowing Reiner to live.  At least Hange is all, “Nah, dude, that’s on me.”  EXCEPT IT WAS THE RIGHT AND DECENT CHOICE SO SCREW EVERYTHING I QUIT SO HARD.

*takes breath*

At last we come to the final scene where Makisa has arrived with the syringe and Eren decides that Armin, who it turns out is still barely breathing, would make an adorable Titan… only Levi swoops in and is all “No! Save my boyfriend!” And the chapter ends with the question of whether or not Eren will make a man’s decision and sacrifice his childhood friend’s life!!

Yeah, except saving Eyebrows is such a stupid plan.

For one, he’s an idiot.  Both of Erwin and Armin are cowards, but Armin has legit flashes of brilliance that seem far more effective than anything Eyebrows has considered in the history of ever.

Frankly, it looks like Levi is in pretty bad shape. I think they should stick to the original plan and stick Levi with the needle and give him Titan powers.  He’d be the tiniest, angriest Titan! Tots adorbs!

I don’t even… I mean, the last of my feels were beaten out of me by Reiner getting killed DEAD at least three times before the Ape Titan saved his sorry ass.  So, like all these months of mourning him are wasted and now I don’t even care.

My entire feeling towards this manga can be summed up thusly:

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