God of Thunder: Bleach 656

Is the title of this chapter  an ironic nod to Kubo-sensei’s obvious desire to draw Thor?

Go find out.  Bleach came out super early, and for some reason MangaPanda seems to be running MangaStream’s translation, so it won’t matter which one you go to, they’re the same: http://readms.com/r/bleach/656/3122/1

SPOILERS

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The chapter starts with Giganta-Thor stomping around like an oversized Godzilla destroying the Vandereich, or whatever we’re calling the Quincy-transformed Soul Realm, while laughing maniacally. (ハ = “ha,” so you can read the sound effects at the top easily: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!)

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So… no word on our vanquished heroes, but at least Renji and crew aren’t the only ones face-planted in the dirt:

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Renji, last episode…

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Ichigo, this episode

 It apparently happened simultaneously, which weirdly pleases me.  These to are always having synchronistic moments like this in Bleach.

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Never forget this awesomeness

So, here they are again, experiencing similar battle moments. Only this time it’s meaningless face-planting after a non-fight.

And people say Kubo doesn’t know how to revive the old magic!

Oops, I get ahead of myself, because, previously, Askin Nakk LaVarr actually spent several panels yacking on about Quincy stuff that sounded a lot like techno-babble to me. Apparently, Lillie/X-Axis was the leader of something called the Schutzstaffel (Hasenpfeffer? Panakuken? Whatever this is, it sounds DELICIOUS), which is why he could turn into a terrifying cuckoo-chair.  There are two other members…. and, here’s the exciting bit: they appear to have a Soul King connection.  We knew that Perdida was the Soul King’s Left Hand.  And, now we find out that Thor is the Soul King’s heart.

Maybe.

Because Askin kind of thinks that all of that is just hearsay, rumor. It’d be ridiculous, right, for a Quincy to have shinigami power? Where would that even come from, them being opposites and all?  So, you know, it’s probably just a thing people say when confronted with all that power.

Wait, what?

Did you just back out of something really interesting, Kubo-sensei?

Okay, I can’t think about the implications of that right now, because I’m too impressed with badass Yoruichi.  Because, wow, I think I may have found a new manga-crush.

First, though, Chad tries to rush to Ichigo’s defense. (Because shouting in German isn’t enough, we get some Spanish too!) However, I adore Chad at this moment, because, you know, he and Ichigo pinky-promised to fight for each other and I don’t care what you say, for that, Chad will always be awesome.

Plus, look at him.  He’s HOT.

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Damn.  Lookin’ sexy.

But, of course, Chad’s heroism is wasted.  We discover that Askin has made around himself a pool of reishi sucking suck sauce. The pool of doom is the Ichigo is so flattened and…. Chad falls right into the same trap.

Chad actually gets a line here, unfortunately, it’s to repeat what Askin just told everyone: the suckiness is sucking reishi.  Chad is all, “Reishi?”

I’m starting to get a little irritated at the direction this fight seems to be headed until we get to this:

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Oh my.  Sexy just went up a hundred degrees.

And, then, thank fate, Yoruichi proceeds to open the very sexiest can of whoop-ass we’ve seen in a long damn time.

There is witty banter, in which we discover Askin is some kind of weird sexist (though I feel like the translation was a little murky, still you get that vibe.)

He goes all Quincy on her with AN ACTUAL BOW and… bless, you, Kubo, Yoruichi is the super-ninja we always remember her to be.

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Surprise!  I’m so badass I can catch Quincy arrows… and throw them back at lethal speed.

And, then… and, then… my very favorite-est part.  It actually looks like maybe Yoruichi incinerated Askin.

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Are you dead? Please be dead.

Except…

Except: Kubo.

He’s not going to be able to let this fight just end, is he?

So, sadly, I’m thinking that, yeah, next chapter is going to start with… I dunno, Askin being all, “Ha, ha! That was just my body double all along!” or “You did just what I hoped you do!” or some such ridiculously repetitive malarky.

That’s right malarky.

It’s time to get hard core.  I’m calling malarky with a ten-percent chance of OHFOR..WHATTHEACTUALF*CK,KUBO.

And it’s going to make me scream.

Also, where the living heck is Grimmjow!!???!!

Look, I don’t even particularly like that guy, but he is a screaming mass of wasted potential.  I was really, really looking forward to some Hollow/Quincy smack down (Revenge for Queen Harribel!) and to find out if Grimmjow has developed a second release.

Ugh. Okay.  For the moment, I shall comfort myself with the awesome that is Yoruichi. (She can rescue me any day.)

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